My Life Today

I know that this photo is a few years old, however, it's one of the nicer photos I have of me. These days you could say that I am a busy person. I am a full-time college student. This May I will be graduating from college with my 2nd degree. I have an AA (Associate in Arts) degree that I obtained in 2011. I also spent a year at a local university pursuing a teaching degree (which I still have every intention on completing). I set that degree aside and went back to the community college to finish out a degree I began in 2008 when I first started. This May I will have an AAS (Associate in Applied arts and Sciences) in the Administrative field. I have also made the Dean's List/Honor Roll a few times during these years.

I waited 6yrs after graduating HS before I went to college. I had always wanted to go to college, however, I struggled to graduate from HS because some of the classes were ones I had to take and I did not really understand them, I was not interested in them and also I had a major surgery my senior year that caused me to miss school for 2 weeks. I fell behind in this particular class and by the grace of God I was able to graduated with 4 extra credits due to the Work/Study program in my HS where I would get 4 credits for the class and 4 credits for having a job while in school. This program literally saved my butt so I could graduate on time...I had this fear that if I struggled to graduate HS, then I would surely struggle and fail out of college; so I headed out into the work force right out of HS and worked full time for 6yrs. I came to the realization that I did not want to be working retail jobs for the rest of my life making between 8-9 dollars an hour. There had to be something more to life, there had to be something better that school could offer me...So I made the choice to enroll in college and leave my retail job of 5yrs. It was the BEST decision I ever made in my life. I watched my parents struggle with money and live paycheck to paycheck and I did not want that life. I wanted to have a better job, and life for my kids in the future...Yes, there were times I struggled with classes in college and there's probably about a grand of money I essentially wasted by withdrawing from a few courses over my 6yrs of college, but I still would not change it for anything.

Most people cringe at taking out loans for school. I did too. I did not like the fact of going into debt just to get a college education. I struggled with this part throughout my college years as I do not like borrowing money from people or owing people things. I soon realized that if I was going to go to college full-time, there would be sacrifices along the way...I have lived on my own pretty much since I was 17 with the exception of 2yrs when I had to move back home with my parents while attending college. I have had my latest apartment for almost 3yrs and I love living on my own. I knew that I would need help with loans to pay for college tuition and my living expenses with giving up my job, so I took out loans to help cover my rent while I found a part-time job. Over the last year, I came to the realization that yes, college is expensive and there are sacrifices you make along the way; however, the sacrifices are worth it in the end. I figure money is a material thing, it can be replaced...Even if it takes me until I am an 80yr old woman to pay off my loans (which this is an exaggeration but you know what I mean) then I will make that investment in my life to push me towards a better and brighter future.

When I am not spending my time in school and doing homework, I tend to spend a lot of time with my family. These days my relationships with my family are slowly getting better and since I am an Auntie (both my sisters have kids), I get to spend a lot of my free time hanging out with my nieces and nephew. I also have 3 "little peoples" (kids) that I absolutely love with all my heart. They are not my kids biologically, however, one of my close friends (who I first met at the age of 13), she has 3 beautiful children and I have been a part of these kids lives since the day the oldest was born. They have called me "Mama Melissa" many times in the past and I know they see me as their 2nd Mom. I spend time with these little loves as well. All of these kids have a huge piece of my heart with their names on it and I would not change that kind of love for anything in this world. They inspire me to keep going and they give me the courage to fight through hard times. I love each and every one of you. :)

As an adult I do have many great friends. I do not have a ton of friends; I have a hard time trusting people and openly letting them into my life as I have been extremely burned before in the past. I do have a select few friends who are very close to me and could probably tell you just about anything you would ever want to know about me and my life. The extent of my bullying experiences, I do not think even the person who knows me the best knew about it in this depth. It's not something you go around publicizing though, so it would make sense that she did not know about the extent of my bullying. I have made many friends through college and I think these women/men are some of the most awesome people I have had the chance to meet through school. Thank you to each and every one of you who I have met through school or reconnected with at school. You all are awesome! :)

Music is still a huge part of my life these days. It is my all in all go to thing to change my mood or give me that little extra bit of energy or inspiration I need. If you find me at school sitting in the commons doing homework, you will see me with my laptop, ear buds plugged in and jamming out to music (which people look at you weird if you are jamming to a song while slightly bouncing in your chair :). I have got to have music when doing homework or really anything. I cannot sit in utter silence that long as it drives me nuts most of the time. Don't get me wrong, when I have been around noise and kids all day, I do enjoy a little time in silence to unwind and regroup, but for the most part complete silence drives me nuts. 

I created this blog after being inspired to do something when I saw my 7yr old niece Chloe being bullied. She would get bullied by this little boy on her bus who would hit, kick and slap her. There were a few times I was at my sister's house and we would get Chloe off the bus and she would be crying because this boy hit her, kicked her in the stomach or whatever...There was a day when she got off the bus and bypassed my sister and ran straight into my arms crying. That day, this boy had either punched or kicked her in the stomach and she could not catch her breath...There was another time when I was at my sister's and these girls who live in her building were being mean to Chloe. Chloe has ADHD and at times can get a bit rowdy...But this particular day, this little girl had punched Chloe in the eye and later on that day after telling my sister what happened, this girl proceeded to slap Chloe on the ribs, slap her face and pull her hair...My sister was pissed and had enough when telling this girl initially that it's not okay to hit Chloe and she needed to be nice to her otherwise they could not play together anymore...Well, clearly this girl did not listen, so after Chloe came back the 2nd time in tears and having marks on her ribs (which we took pictures of and reported it to the police), Heather decided she needed to talk to this girls' dad and let him know what was going on...Heather went to speak to this girl's dad while I stayed with Chloe and I guess the dad got pissed at Heather and got in her face and started screaming at her. He said that he really was not going to do anything to punish this girl for hurting Chloe and that Heather needed to leave now...Not sure if there was anything going on with that girl at home in terms of abuse or anything, but the dad refused to do anything about what his daughter did. Heather left and came back to tell me and I got very upset about that. I did not understand how parents think it's okay that their children behave that way and do nothing to punish their children when their children are bullying others...Maybe it's how we were raised as we got in trouble when my sisters and I would hit or throw things at each other. Watching my niece go through this was very heartbreaking knowing exactly how she felt because I lived with bullying too...So Chloe even at the tender age of 7yrs old, has been my inspiration to create this blog and bring awareness to how bad bullying is and that no matter what someone does to you, it is NEVER okay to bully or be physically violent towards another person.

This is a recent photo of Chloe. She inspired me to write this blog, so honey, this is for you. :)

To my "Chunky Monkey Bear",

You are extremely special to Auntie. You have inspired me to write this blog because it broke my heart to see you being picked on and hurt by kids who you play with and who are supposed to be your friends. I know you are too young to know this, but Auntie was bullied too, and I know how much it hurts your feelings and hurts your body when someone hits, kicks, slaps and pulls your hair. Auntie is here to tell you that I love you so very much! We all love you. You are a very strong, beautiful, loving, caring, and generous person. I see you share your toys and even give your toys away to your friends because you have such a caring heart...Mommy and I have told you a few times that you cannot just give all of your stuff away because then you will not have anything to play with and you always say with a smile on your face "It's okay, I want to and I have enough stuff anyway, so they can have it". You have such a caring heart and I admire that about you. I see that you love life, and are so nice to everyone you meet. Thank you for showing Auntie how to be strong and to keep going even when you feel like quitting. I love you so much my "Chunks". You showed Auntie how to be a strong person, so now I am being strong for you and for all the kids who have ever gotten bullied by someone else. Keep doing well in school as I know you love school, keep smiling and yes, you can still whip my butt at jamming out to Justin Bieber! :) I love you lots honey and just keep being you. :)

Love you always,

Auntie 'Lissa :)