I know that this photo is a few years old, however, it's one of the nicer photos I have of me. These days you could say that I am a busy person. I am a full-time college student. This May I will be graduating from college with my 2nd degree. I have an AA (Associate in Arts) degree that I obtained in 2011. I also spent a year at a local university pursuing a teaching degree (which I still have every intention on completing). I set that degree aside and went back to the community college to finish out a degree I began in 2008 when I first started. This May I will have an AAS (Associate in Applied arts and Sciences) in the Administrative field. I have also made the Dean's List/Honor Roll a few times during these years.
I waited 6yrs after graduating HS before I went to college. I had always wanted to go to college, however, I struggled to graduate from HS because some of the classes were ones I had to take and I did not really understand them, I was not interested in them and also I had a major surgery my senior year that caused me to miss school for 2 weeks. I fell behind in this particular class and by the grace of God I was able to graduated with 4 extra credits due to the Work/Study program in my HS where I would get 4 credits for the class and 4 credits for having a job while in school. This program literally saved my butt so I could graduate on time...I had this fear that if I struggled to graduate HS, then I would surely struggle and fail out of college; so I headed out into the work force right out of HS and worked full time for 6yrs. I came to the realization that I did not want to be working retail jobs for the rest of my life making between 8-9 dollars an hour. There had to be something more to life, there had to be something better that school could offer me...So I made the choice to enroll in college and leave my retail job of 5yrs. It was the BEST decision I ever made in my life. I watched my parents struggle with money and live paycheck to paycheck and I did not want that life. I wanted to have a better job, and life for my kids in the future...Yes, there were times I struggled with classes in college and there's probably about a grand of money I essentially wasted by withdrawing from a few courses over my 6yrs of college, but I still would not change it for anything.
Most people cringe at taking out loans for school. I did too. I did not like the fact of going into debt just to get a college education. I struggled with this part throughout my college years as I do not like borrowing money from people or owing people things. I soon realized that if I was going to go to college full-time, there would be sacrifices along the way...I have lived on my own pretty much since I was 17 with the exception of 2yrs when I had to move back home with my parents while attending college. I have had my latest apartment for almost 3yrs and I love living on my own. I knew that I would need help with loans to pay for college tuition and my living expenses with giving up my job, so I took out loans to help cover my rent while I found a part-time job. Over the last year, I came to the realization that yes, college is expensive and there are sacrifices you make along the way; however, the sacrifices are worth it in the end. I figure money is a material thing, it can be replaced...Even if it takes me until I am an 80yr old woman to pay off my loans (which this is an exaggeration but you know what I mean) then I will make that investment in my life to push me towards a better and brighter future.
When I am not spending my time in school and doing homework, I tend to spend a lot of time with my family. These days my relationships with my family are slowly getting better and since I am an Auntie (both my sisters have kids), I get to spend a lot of my free time hanging out with my nieces and nephew. I also have 3 "little peoples" (kids) that I absolutely love with all my heart. They are not my kids biologically, however, one of my close friends (who I first met at the age of 13), she has 3 beautiful children and I have been a part of these kids lives since the day the oldest was born. They have called me "Mama Melissa" many times in the past and I know they see me as their 2nd Mom. I spend time with these little loves as well. All of these kids have a huge piece of my heart with their names on it and I would not change that kind of love for anything in this world. They inspire me to keep going and they give me the courage to fight through hard times. I love each and every one of you. :)
As an adult I do have many great friends. I do not have a ton of friends; I have a hard time trusting people and openly letting them into my life as I have been extremely burned before in the past. I do have a select few friends who are very close to me and could probably tell you just about anything you would ever want to know about me and my life. The extent of my bullying experiences, I do not think even the person who knows me the best knew about it in this depth. It's not something you go around publicizing though, so it would make sense that she did not know about the extent of my bullying. I have made many friends through college and I think these women/men are some of the most awesome people I have had the chance to meet through school. Thank you to each and every one of you who I have met through school or reconnected with at school. You all are awesome! :)
Music is still a huge part of my life these days. It is my all in all go to thing to change my mood or give me that little extra bit of energy or inspiration I need. If you find me at school sitting in the commons doing homework, you will see me with my laptop, ear buds plugged in and jamming out to music (which people look at you weird if you are jamming to a song while slightly bouncing in your chair :). I have got to have music when doing homework or really anything. I cannot sit in utter silence that long as it drives me nuts most of the time. Don't get me wrong, when I have been around noise and kids all day, I do enjoy a little time in silence to unwind and regroup, but for the most part complete silence drives me nuts.
I created this blog after being inspired to do something when I saw my 7yr old niece Chloe being bullied. She would get bullied by this little boy on her bus who would hit, kick and slap her. There were a few times I was at my sister's house and we would get Chloe off the bus and she would be crying because this boy hit her, kicked her in the stomach or whatever...There was a day when she got off the bus and bypassed my sister and ran straight into my arms crying. That day, this boy had either punched or kicked her in the stomach and she could not catch her breath...There was another time when I was at my sister's and these girls who live in her building were being mean to Chloe. Chloe has ADHD and at times can get a bit rowdy...But this particular day, this little girl had punched Chloe in the eye and later on that day after telling my sister what happened, this girl proceeded to slap Chloe on the ribs, slap her face and pull her hair...My sister was pissed and had enough when telling this girl initially that it's not okay to hit Chloe and she needed to be nice to her otherwise they could not play together anymore...Well, clearly this girl did not listen, so after Chloe came back the 2nd time in tears and having marks on her ribs (which we took pictures of and reported it to the police), Heather decided she needed to talk to this girls' dad and let him know what was going on...Heather went to speak to this girl's dad while I stayed with Chloe and I guess the dad got pissed at Heather and got in her face and started screaming at her. He said that he really was not going to do anything to punish this girl for hurting Chloe and that Heather needed to leave now...Not sure if there was anything going on with that girl at home in terms of abuse or anything, but the dad refused to do anything about what his daughter did. Heather left and came back to tell me and I got very upset about that. I did not understand how parents think it's okay that their children behave that way and do nothing to punish their children when their children are bullying others...Maybe it's how we were raised as we got in trouble when my sisters and I would hit or throw things at each other. Watching my niece go through this was very heartbreaking knowing exactly how she felt because I lived with bullying too...So Chloe even at the tender age of 7yrs old, has been my inspiration to create this blog and bring awareness to how bad bullying is and that no matter what someone does to you, it is NEVER okay to bully or be physically violent towards another person.
This is a recent photo of Chloe. She inspired me to write this blog, so honey, this is for you. :)
To my "Chunky Monkey Bear",
You are extremely special to Auntie. You have inspired me to write this blog because it broke my heart to see you being picked on and hurt by kids who you play with and who are supposed to be your friends. I know you are too young to know this, but Auntie was bullied too, and I know how much it hurts your feelings and hurts your body when someone hits, kicks, slaps and pulls your hair. Auntie is here to tell you that I love you so very much! We all love you. You are a very strong, beautiful, loving, caring, and generous person. I see you share your toys and even give your toys away to your friends because you have such a caring heart...Mommy and I have told you a few times that you cannot just give all of your stuff away because then you will not have anything to play with and you always say with a smile on your face "It's okay, I want to and I have enough stuff anyway, so they can have it". You have such a caring heart and I admire that about you. I see that you love life, and are so nice to everyone you meet. Thank you for showing Auntie how to be strong and to keep going even when you feel like quitting. I love you so much my "Chunks". You showed Auntie how to be a strong person, so now I am being strong for you and for all the kids who have ever gotten bullied by someone else. Keep doing well in school as I know you love school, keep smiling and yes, you can still whip my butt at jamming out to Justin Bieber! :) I love you lots honey and just keep being you. :)
Love you always,
Auntie 'Lissa :)
Wouldn't it be awesome if we were able to fly free into the sky like a bird? No matter what was happening in our lives at that moment, to be able to just take off and soar above the clouds...I know that there are a lot of people who believe in reincarnation. I stand on mutual ground with this belief as I am not sure if I quite believe in it; however, I suppose it could be possible. I have thought about this concept a lot over the years and I thought that if this could be possible, then I would want to be reincarnated as a bird after I pass on from this wonderful world. To be able to just take off and soar through the sky, feeling ever so free and taking in all the beauty of the world around me. Yeah, if reincarnation exists and I believed it to be true, this is what my reincarnation would be...
I was faced with the choice of Fight or Flight. Starting high school at a completely separate school from the middle school girls was the best reassurance I had walking into the first day of my 9th grade year. At 14yrs old, you do not have much of a concept of why things happen in life, and why people do the things they do. For this 14yr old Freshmen, I tried desperately to understand all of what happened over the last two years but I kept coming back to the same conclusion...There was something wrong with these girls, not me.
My first day of high school was terrifying not because of potential bullies as I "knew" that they were all at a different high school and not here with me. I got lost probably 50 times the first day in my high school because it was so huge. Two buildings connected by two sky ways and each building had 3 floors of classrooms. Each hallway looked like the other and I could not find my way to my homeroom. I was a nervous wreck, who was beginning to have a panic attack as I was so overwhelmed and worked up over being in such a big place and getting lost was inevitable.
I soon learned my way around this huge school and became quite comfortable with it's size and having to go from the top floor of one building to the top/bottom floor of the other for classes and having only 6 mins of passing time between classes. I'm here to tell you that school should really invest in escalators; as you get a calf and butt busting workout from merely treading stairs all day. :)
During my four years of high school, I did not have a car or a license, so I could not drive myself to school. My sister Miranda was a Sophomore and had just gotten her license and a car. She gave me a ride to school the first day of 9th grade, but aside from a couple other times, she drove herself to school and usually picked up friends for rides to school or brought them home after school. Essentially there was no room for me to ride with her when I did see her in school, otherwise she was basically MIA (missing in action) as I rarely saw her after school. Since I could not drive and I lived on the North side of town, I did not get bussed to school. I had to take the Metro Bus to and from school each day. The closest stop to my high school was 2 1/2 blocks from the school, so I would walk those blocks to and from school each day throughout those 4 years.
It was probably around October of my Freshmen year when this final incident occurred. It was the end of the school day and instead of making my two block journey to the bus stop, I was told by my sister that she was going to bring me home that day and to not ride the bus...I stood for about fifteen minutes on the front steps in front of the school waiting for Miranda to come pick me up...She left for school that morning when I left the house, so I knew she was at school (at least I thought she was). She had been at school but forgot to pick me up as I think she gave a few friends a ride home instead. Kids still did not have cell phones yet, although they were just hitting the market stream as the new accessory to have. After waiting those 15 minutes, I realized that she was not coming, so I made my trek to the bus stop hoping I could still make my normal bus and not get home later by having to wait for the next one.
As I began to walk, I saw two people walking slightly behind me. This was out of my peripheral vision, but I could still see two people walking with me, but I did not see who they were...I noticed they were keeping the same pace as I was and each time I sped up or stopped to do something, they would stop as well. They followed me for the first block, but when I hit the second block, I began to get curious as to who was following me? I looked over my shoulder and to my surprise there were two of the same middle school girls who helped torment me! How they got to the school and what they were there for, I have no idea as they did not attend my school but the one I did not want to go to.
I immediately turned away from them and bolted it towards the bus stop, thinking I could outrun them...I did for half of that last block, but they caught up to me. They caught me in the parking lot of the downtown Bremer Bank. It was the middle of the week and the parking lot still had quite a few cars in it. They made me walk in between two cars and proceeded to ask me all these random questions. My mind was racing, and answering irrelevant questions was the last thing I had the energy to focus on answering at the moment...
I still never understood what I did to these other two girls who were a part of Sasha's groupie friends. These two girls did minor things to me in middle school, so as soon as I recognized who they were, I knew what they wanted...Me. Anyways, I don't remember the questions I was asked as my mind was a million miles away wishing I could get away from them. But one of the girls got upset with what I gave for an answer to her question as I think I said I didn't care about whatever she asked me or I was uninterested or something like that...Anyways, these girls Amy and Kayla started shoving me around between the two of them. After a few minutes of shoving me around, I asked them exactly what did I do for them to hate me so much and for them to pick on me so bad? They gave the usual answers like because I was ugly, I didn't have any friends, my clothes we cheap...You know things like that. They never did answer my question as to what I did to them that was so horrible to cause them to bully me.
Amy told me to do something or give her something, I think it was my money to ride the bus home? I told her no, that I needed it to get home with and I did not have any other money on me; just the $.75 it cost to ride the bus home. Both Amy and Kayla got mad at me for refusing to give up my bus money to them; so they proceeded to start slapping me. A slap across the face, a kick to the stomach and a shove and I was on the ground. Kayla took her foot and stepped on me, holding me with enough strength so I could not get off of the ground...All the while I am wondering why in the hell has no one from the bank or customers coming and going seen me and what was going on? Maybe someone did, I prayed someone would have seen what was going on but no one saw it, or at least came out to stop it if they had seen it...
I was on the ground, nearly hyperventilating and crying. I could not catch my breath and I started going into major panic mode. Amy told me the only way she would let me go with my bus money was if I would crawl over to her feet and kiss them! I thought, there is no way in hell I was going to do that. I was a person, I had feelings and I did not have to subject myself to that kind of humiliation for the sake of their twisted enjoyment! I told Amy "NO!, I will not kiss your feet, even if you beat the shit out of me, I will not kiss your feet"!
She said okay and proceeded to kick me again in the stomach and I was now curled up in the fetal position. She either slapped me again or scratched my face because I began to bleed a little from the side of my nose. No major bleeding, but it was enough to cause blood to drip from my nose. All the while, Kayla is now almost sitting on top of me, making sure I don't wiggle loose and start running.
Amy asks me a final time if I want to go home...I look at her and think "No, I would rather let you sit her and kick the crap out of me all night, I just enjoy it!...Of course I want to go home, what kind of question is that? I nod my head and tell her yes. Amy looks at me and says "well, then you know what you need to do then don't you"? I reluctantly nod in agreement that I know I need to kiss her feet if I will have any chance of getting home. So, I tell her I will do it and I proceed to do so...It was the most humiliating thing I have ever had to deal with in my life at that time. Amy and Kayla kept their word about letting me go after I did that, and I ran as fast as I could to put as much distance between me and them as possible...
I did not take the bus home, I half ran, half walked home. I wondered why I never thought to scream to get someone's attention, but I think I was so consumed with fear and figuring out how to get out of this situation, that I was speechless I do believe...
I made it home in record time as I ran through back allies and along multiple side streets to get to my house. By this time; however I had been bleeding for my nose, it had stopped. I looked like I was sweating to death from running home. You could not tell that anything happened aside from my right cheek which was red and inflamed where I had gotten slapped. I did tell my parents what happened that I ran into these girls, but I did not tell them that I ever had to kiss Amy's feet just to get home...I do hope that Amy and Kayla learned that this type of behavior was not okay but I never saw them after that, so I can only hope they would know what they did was wrong, cruel and humiliating. Because it was one of the most humiliating things to have to do in your life as a teen.
I saved this story for last because it was the most vicious and cruel experience of bullying I have ever experienced. I hope these girls know how badly they hurt me and I hope they had some sort of remorse for their actions? This memory of that horrifying day will never go away and I have to carry that memory with me, but that's why I wanted to speak up about this issue and share my story with bullying. Your words and actions can either bless or harm someone. Choose them wisely, for you never know what the affects are on someone else...
Now that I have ran through all of my major experiences with bullying, I want to share a post about what my life is like today, what I have been up to and why I wanted to create this blog after witnessing my niece Chloe being bullied...Remember to comment or share your experiences with others if you want to.
Check back tomorrow for the update on what I am currently up to and what's going on in my life today. Thanks for reading and take care of each other. :)
~Melissa
Many times in the course of my life I have heard people say "I wish I could be a fly on that wall". To be able to sit on a wall and hear what's really going on when you are not around. There were many times that I wished the same thing. The only difference is, I did not want to be a fly on the wall since I think flies are kind of gross. I wanted to be a butterfly. I have always loved butterflies. I think that they are one of the most whimsical, beautiful and free creatures in this great world of ours. I love them because they go from one stage in their lives to another through evolving from a caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly. I had been in the middle of figuring some things out in my life; from puberty and getting my first period to figuring out who I was as a person.
Growing up I loved spending time with my grandparents and I was lucky enough to have my great grandparents in my life. I was particularly close to my Great Grandma Alice. As I kid, I remember going to visit her when we would go see my grandparents as they both lived in the same town. I typically would see them only on the holidays, so it was only a few times a year. I was fond of Alice because she thought I was special. She gave me the time I needed and the attention I wanted from people. She always took interest in what I was doing in my life and what was going on in my life. Throughout my childhood years, I had this weird fascination with my grandma's skin. You know how grandparents get wrinkles and their skin turns very soft? My grandma Alice had the softest skin I have ever known and I loved hugging her and touching her hands. I was completely amazed that skin could do that with time. It was like putting your hands into a pile of baby powder; that's how soft her skin was. The main thing I always remember about Alice is that she always had gum with her. Not the packs like we can buy at the store but these tiny 5 piece packs (they look like the gum pieces you push out of the foil casing but there are only 5 pieces. They were stacked on top of each other and wrapped up). She had tons of different flavors with her but my favorite was the red cinnamon ones.
Alice knew about my love for music and my interests in butterflies. She also knew that I loved school so very much; I loved learning. She always encouraged me to keep going with school, do your best and she would be there to support me along the way. One particular summer trip to my grandparents, I spent time with Alice. We played games I do believe and other fun things. Before I left to go back home, Alice gave me a gift to take home...They were a pair of butterfly clips that were coated in colored glitter. One was light blue in color and the other was pink. The cool thing about these clips was that the butterfly sat on a hair clasp and with movement, both of the butterfly wings would move back and forth as if it was flying. I thought these things were so precious because they came from my grandma, but they were cool at the same time because I had never seen anything like them before. My sister didn't even have anything like these, so I was super stoked! Grandma said that she got them on one of her many trips to Texas/Mexico during the winter months as she and my great grandpa would travel down south for the winter. She said that she saw them at a little boutique during one of her trips and thought I would like them, so she got them for me...Little did she know that I not only liked them and felt special to have something so cool, but I was completely in love with them. They were and have been to this day two of the coolest and prettiest hair clips I have ever seen...I wore them a couple times during the summer to I think church once or when we went somewhere nice, but I really wanted to wear them to school this coming year (8th grade). They were really cool, and very pretty. I thought that my friends would like them...I thought that this was it, this was going to be a better year and I would finally get to have something that not only was cool and looked nice, but something that finally made me feel beautiful.
It was almost like I was stuck in a cocoon and breaking through those parts of my life, shedding the things that happened in 7th grade to start fresh as a beautiful butterfly for 8th grade. My ideal thought of this personal evolving was a vision I had that was soon trampled to the ground. My beautiful butterfly wings were ripped off and thrown away...
I do not remember exactly when this incident occurred as it was not at the beginning of the year. Keep in mind that I was receptive to bullying before and after these events I have shared, but I am sharing only the ones that were the most dominant, and the most severe. I was all set and ready for my 8th grade year. Hand-me-down clothes, new shoes but I had my beautiful butterfly clips. I had worn one of the clips once before this incident happened and nothing happened, I even got a few compliments on how nice they were...So naturally you would want to wear them again.
I do believe that one of the students who attended the same school as I did and was friends with the girls who picked on me. This girl was killed by a drunk driver in a car accident. The girls' name who died was Regina. The girls who picked on me had no clue that I did actually know Regina, however, we were not friends. I had a mutual friend in common with Regina, but none of the girls who tormented me knew that.
I was sitting in I think Math class or maybe it was Language Arts class? I had worn my hair up in a tightly placed "bun". I made sure that the middle of the bun had an opening so I could place my new butterfly clip in the middle of it. That's how Grandma Alice said it is usually worn. So, I wore my pink clip this particular day (I think it was a few days or a week after this fatal accident happened) and no one had bothered me about it until I was in this class. There was this girl who sat behind me who I will call Sasha. Well Sasha, apparently was very angry that I was wearing this clip in my hair. Apparently, butterflies was Regina's favorite insect and she loved them. This I had no idea about as like I said I had met her a time or two through a mutual friend but I never really talked to her...
Sasha thought that my choice to wear my clip was an ultimate sign of disrespect for Regina. She confronted me about the clip and told me that I needed to take the clip out of my hair. Her words were "You cannot wear that clip because you did not know Regina, you were not friends with her and she would be disgusted to know you were wearing this clip"! The words may be flipped around in a different order from what was initially said, but all of these words were spoken to me by Sasha. I never really had a problem with Sasha before this as she was friends with the girls who picked on me, and at times she would call me a name or two, but for the most part, she never really did anything to me until this day. I told Sasha "No! I am not taking out my clip, I got it as a gift and I don't care about if Regina would be upset or not, it's my clip, I like it, I am not trying to disrespect anyone but I am going to wear it"! That was probably one of the first and only times I actually stood up for myself and said something back.
I turned around to face the front of the classroom, leaving my clip where it was and in a vulnerable state to be yanked out of my hair...Sasha waited I think maybe a whole minute or two and then proceeded to take the clip out herself. She ripped it out of my hair and put it in her pocket. The teacher was not in the room at the time, I am not sure if the teacher went to get something or what was the reason for no teacher in the classroom at that time. Sasha ended up pulling my hair in the process of grabbing the clip...I never did see her do anything to the clip while we were in class. She would not give the clip back even after I asked for it...I do believe she either broke it or threw it away or both...I never saw that pink clip again...I never told my grandma Alice what really happened to them, even as an adult I never told her. When she asked, I told her that I either borrowed them to a friend, or I left them at home and forgot to wear them...After a while she stopped asking me about them...I think I broke her heart because she knew I was lying to her about what happened to them, but I would not tell her what really happened...I felt bad enough, I didn't want to disappoint her too...
A few days later, I had gotten this new pair of blue jeans and a nice light blue shirt. I really wanted to wear the blue clip to complete my outfit...I thought long and hard about if I should wear it or not. Against my better judgment, I wore it to school with my new outfit...That day was the typical day at school...Go to classes, hear a name call here or there, try to get as much homework done in class as possible, and avoid Sasha...That day of the blue clip, for some reason Sasha had not been in class and I had not seen her all day. I thought "great, I can wear it and get through the day without running into Sasha". Oddly enough, after our class Sasha and I would've have together, I left the room to go to lunch I believe and I saw her a few feet down the hall from where I was at. I wondered why she had not been in class if she was in school, but I was kind of relieved that she was not in class, so I didn't pay too much attention to it...In our middle school, the hallways were set up to where the lunch room is in the smack dab, middle of the building...There was a "short way" and a "long way" to get to the lunchroom. Sasha was standing with her group of friends close to the lunch room by means of the "short way", so I decided to walk the extra distance and go the "long way" to the lunch room. I figured if I get in the cafeteria, there are lunch monitors, adults, and surely Sasha and her friends cannot pick on me with adults watching them...
I walked the long way around the back half of the school to get back to the lunch room. My thought was "I'm almost there, as long as I avoid eye contact, she may just leave me alone". My thoughts were short lived when I approached the hallway to the cafeteria. Sasha and her friends moved closer to the long way side where I was coming from and there was no way I could get into the lunch room without passing them...Sasha and her friends approach me. Sasha must have filled them in about the whole Regina and butterfly thing with me because Sasha looked at my "bun" to see if I had another clip sitting there...Sure enough I had as I wore it to school that day with my new outfit...Sasha exclaims "see this is what I was talking about. She had a pink one in her hair a few days ago. Regina would be so mad if she saw this in her hair"! Little did Sasha know that I had met Regina through that mutual friend and Regina seemed very nice and in reality she probably would not care in the least had she been there...But Sasha made sure to let me know how disgusted and distraught Regina would have been had she seen me wearing it. I cannot remember if it was Sasha who grabbed the blue clip and broke in front of me or if it was one of her friend groupies...Sasha was surely there and between her and the three other girls, my beautiful blue clip was ripped from my hair with more force than the first...They stepped on it, when they realized it was metal, they proceeded to break the clasp, and bend the wings off of it and then throw it in the garbage...I just let them do it. I didn't try to stop them, I didn't do anything because I was more afraid of getting beat up. I figured, if they had something else to take out their aggression on, it would save them from taking it out on me physically...
Those girls proceeded to go into the lunch room like nothing happened after they did that. I went to the bathroom to pee and cry. I decided that the one shred of dignity I had left was not crying in front of them. After my episode with the Walkman, I decided that they were not going to have one more thing to control in my small life...I had control over my emotions and they were not going to get that from me too...I never did let them see me cry, not that I think they would have cared or felt bad if they had...But it was the last shred of dignity I had left and I was not going to give it up. After I regained my composure, I left the bathroom and went into the lunch room. The lunch monitor could tell that I had been crying as my face and eyes turn red and blotchy...That lady looked at me for a few minutes, knowing I had been crying and she NEVER asked me if I was okay, if something was wrong? As an adult, I cannot grasp why no one does anything or says anything if they see these things are going on? It's common sense people! I wish that lunch lady would have asked me what was wrong or took the time to see if I was okay...She never did ask and I never did tell...
I have not seen any of these girls with the exception of Sasha and one other girl who I see my Freshmen year and creates another incident for me...As adults, I have spoken with Sasha and she has apologized for the things she did to me growing up. She feels genuinely sorry for doing what she did and I have since forgiven her and I am now a friend of hers and do speak to her on occasion...Sasha shared with me that she, herself was dealing with her own personal demons during those years and although it does not excuse or make what she did to me right, she did share with me some of what she was going through during those years of her life...I now understand why she acted out the way she did, however, it does not excuse what she and her friends did to me as those memories I will have for the rest of my life...I do not hold any anger or hate/resentment towards any of the people who bullied and tormented me growing up...I did through high school and I swore if I ever saw them after 8th grade I would do something about it this time...These girls and all the things that happened to me in those 2 years is what caused me to transfer to a different High school. Our town is sectioned off into North and South for school locations...If you lived on the North side of town, you went to one high school, and if you lived on the South side, you went to a different high school on that side of town...I lived on the North side of town and so did these girls so naturally after middle school, we would all be going to the HS on the North side of town...I had enough of all the bullying and the torment that I begged my parents and the school counselor at North to allow me to transfer to the South side HS so I did not have to spend the next 4 yrs. of my life dealing with those same girls...After much debating and begging on my part, my parents agreed and I was able to finally catch a break from the bullying and try to have a normal HS experience...The bullying was never as bad in HS, but it surely did happen...
Parents, please be mindful of what your children are bringing to school. If they have anything of value, please be careful when letting your children bring those items to school. Not all children suffer from bullying but those valuable things can get broken either by playing recklessly with them or children letting friends play with them...Please also be mindful of how your children act when coming or going to school. If you notice something out of the norm, please take the time to find out what is going on. Chances are, they will not tell you right away but please keep pestering them and asking them what's going on because eventually they will tell you and you then can help them fix the problem.
~Melissa
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